Whoever Said Closets Were Boring?
by JillSwinburne
Summary: Mac wakes up naked and handcuffed in someone's closet. But whose closet is it and what will she do whenshe finds him? SMACKED.
1. Chapter 1

**First of all I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed Of Strippers and Desperation. In honour of your kindness I decided to try flexing my smut muscles again and came up with this. It's a little sillier and a lot hotter than my previous effort so be warned. ;)**

**Disclaimer: my continuing failure to actually own Mac Taylor is the one great tragedy of my life, I cry myself to sleep at night thinking about it.**

**Have fun.**

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Mac groaned, one eye cracking open slightly, followed by the other when he realised that it was dark.

He felt woozy and tired and, well, not to put too fine a point on it, drunk.

He groaned again and tried to sit up in bed except that it was beginning to dawn on him that he wasn't in bed. He was curled up on the floor somewhere, although it was too dark to see where exactly.

He made another effort to sit upright and it was the turn of his muscles to groan. Wherever he was he had been curled up here for a while obviously. That was when he realised that in addition to being drunk and sore he was also naked.

"Shit," he muttered to himself, shifting on the carpeted floor.

Something soft brushed against his shoulder but he couldn't see what it was; loose fabric of some kind, almost like satin. Why the hell was there satin hanging over his head?

He shifted again, attempting to relieve the strain in his right arm which was beginning to throb painfully for some reason. But the arm wouldn't shift, instead his wrist clunked heavily into something on the floor.

Mac squinted through the dark to find out what it was and swore again when he realised that he was currently sporting a pair of handcuffs, one bracelet around his right wrist, the other clipped around what looked like a heating pipe near the floor.

Panic began to rise and his clear scientist's brain struggled through the drunken fug to work out what the hell was going on.

Okay, start small, where had he been this evening.

Out, he'd been out at a bar just off Broadway with a couple of guys from his old unit who were in town for a couple of days.

Good, what happened then?

Well, they'd been drinking obviously. It had been quite some time since Mac had done any serious drinking and marines were serious drinkers. They'd called him a bunch of names until he'd joined them, downing shots of tequila or whatever that shit had been.

After that he didn't remember much; shouting, laughing, taking the piss out of him for leaving the corps, joking around, questions. There had been a lot of questions, questions about the lab, about his colleagues, women, questions about Stella.

The sound of a door opening and closing brought Mac back to the present and his brain went into panic overload.

He was naked and handcuffed in a small, dark, enclosed space which he was now pretty sure was some kind of walk-in closet. Even worse, he was pretty sure he knew who the closet belonged to. He was in some seriously deep shit.

His worst fears were confirmed when a light went on somewhere and through the slats that fronted the closet he saw Stella Bonasera walk into the room.

I'm a dead man, he thought, keeping perfectly still as he watched her take off her jacket and shoes and leave again.

Stella had been on call tonight, she must have gotten called out to a scene. She was probably tired and in no mood to deal with a naked drunken man in her closet.

I'm a dead man, he thought again. He had a spare key to her apartment, had had it ever since the ordeal with Frankie; that must have been how they had gotten in to the apartment. He always carried it with him, just in case, but he had never used it. It was for use in extreme emergencies and life or death situations only and now a bunch of drunken marines had used it to break in and play a practical joke on an old friend. It was an unforgiveable betrayal of trust and if he managed to somehow get out of here alive he was pretty sure he could spend the rest of his life trying to make it up to her and never succeed.

And he would deserve it.

Alright, then you're just gonna have to get out of here before she finds you, he thought.

Just then he heard the sound of a shower being turned on, followed by the sound of Stella humming.

Perfect. If he could get out of these damn cuffs he could make a run for it before she got out of the shower and she'd never know he'd been there.

The realisation of his predicament was beginning to sober him up and with the light coming through the slats of the closet he squinted at the cuffs, trying to see if there was a way out.

Unfortunately they appeared to be his cuffs and whoever had applied them had known what they were doing. There was no sign of the key and the clasps were solid; short of sawing through either the pipe or the chain there was no way he was getting out. But he had to try and so he began frantically wriggling his wrist in an attempt to slide the cuff off.

But a small part of his brain was rather behind the rest and had clearly not recovered from his earlier overindulgence. That little part of his brain was prodding away at him, reminding him that there was an extremely attractive woman in the shower less than ten feet away from him.

Mac tried to ignore it. This was not the time to be thinking about Stella in the shower, except of course he just had.

He let out another groan, this time of annoyance, and tried to concentrate on the task in hand.

He and Stella had been carrying on behind Sinclair's back for nearly four months now, although he wasn't sure you could really call it carrying on. There had been kissing and… well, mostly just kissing to be honest.

The fact that Sinclair hadn't been tempted to fire either Danny or Lindsey, or Mac for not firing them himself for that matter, had given them a little hope but the chief could be unpredictable and the fact that Mac was her boss made things more complicated.

They had agreed to keep things low-key and so far no one knew about them. The only problem was that it was difficult to find time to see each other off the clock. One or other of them was usually on call or pulling a double shift to get a case finished.

The most intimate contact they'd managed in the whole four months had been one night when they'd managed to grab a couple of hours in front of the TV at his place and Stella had given him a backrub. He'd been so relaxed afterwards that she'd asked him if he wanted a cigarette. They'd both laughed at that but the night had ended with both of them falling asleep on the sofa and he'd woken up the next morning with a real pain in his shoulder, undoing all Stella's good work from the night before.

Any time either of them had tried to take things even a little further a phone had rung and one or other of them had been called to a scene. He didn't mind really, it had been a while since he had last had sex and he had kind of learned to live without it.

Unfortunately that insistent little part of his brain clearly hadn't learned to live without and it was still prodding him when he heard the water shut off and Stella coming out of the bathroom.

He looked down at his hand. There was no way that cuff was coming off.

Maybe he should just come clean; call for help and say he'd just woken up, beg for his life. If she didn't find him tonight she'd just find him the next morning when she came to get dressed. Should he take his chances?

Maybe she'd be more inclined to take it as a joke come the morning and in the meantime he could try and find another way of getting out of here while she was asleep.

No, there was no way out, he had to face it. He should just call to her quietly when she came back into the room, try not to scare her too much, and suffer the consequences he so rightly deserved.

Sighing he straightened up as best he could in the confined space, and almost choked to death when Stella entered the room once more completely naked.

Mac closed his eyes quickly but the image of her, all tanned skin and long legs, seemed to be burned onto the inside of his eyelids.

She was still humming to herself and there was the sound of a drawer opening.

He risked opening one eye in the hope that she had put some pyjamas on but was instead faced with Stella's pert backside wiggling practically in his face.

He felt his groin start to tighten. Okay so maybe he hadn't learned to live without sex entirely. He closed his eyes again.

"There you are," she said after a few seconds of rummaging.

Mac wondered for a second if he'd been caught but doubted it. She wasn't screaming.

"Okay bunny, time for you and I to have a little fun."

Bunny?

Mac opened his eyes again and squinted through the slats. She still had her back to him as she walked towards the bed but when she sat down he suddenly saw what she had been talking about and his eyes nearly popped out of his head.

In her hand there was a bright red rampant rabbit. By the looks of it the damn thing must have measured around eight inches and it was very thick.

Stella was sitting cross-legged on the bed, sideways on to the closet. She flipped the little battery hatch in the base open and smiled. Her little friend was clearly full. Then she pressed the on switch, testing it a couple of times against her fingertips, turning the vibration dial up and down to make sure everything was in full working order.

A smile brightening her face she lay down on the bed, her legs spread slightly, the vibrator at her side.

Slowly raising her hands to her chest she began to stroke her breasts, running her fingers lazily over her nipples, tweaking them to pertness and then massaging them back down once more, moaning softly to herself as she did so.

In the closet Mac could only blink and stare. He was not watching this, this was not happening, there was just no way! His most adolescent fantasy and his greatest nightmare were coming true at the same time and he had to grit his teeth in an attempt to control his body which was attempting to respond to what it was seeing.

Stella's left hand now left her breast and trailed hypnotically down across her stomach and down between her legs.

She let out a soft, "oh," at the contact, her eyes closing as she continued to stroke herself.

Mac shut his eyes too. He shouldn't be watching this. Maybe if he kept his eyes shut it wouldn't be so bad. But her breath was coming in little gasps now and she moaned again. He could hear the rustle of fabric as she shifted on the bed and then the unmistakeable sound of the vibrator being switched on.

She moaned louder; an, "oh God" that made him pray for a bucket of ice water.

The closet felt ridiculously small and hot and he could feel all the blood in his body draining downwards below his waist where his interest in what was going on seemed to swell with each breath she took.

"Oh yessss…. Oh God yes, that feels so good!"

Mac scrunched his eyes up and put one finger of his free hand in his ear to try and block her out but her next exclamation got his attention once more.

"Mmmm, oh yes," she murmured, "oh… Mac!"

Mac's eyes slammed open.

Stella Bonasersa, his Stella, the woman he'd been denying his feelings for for several years, the woman whom he'd only ever kissed, the woman who invaded his dreams at night and performed lewd sexual acts on his subconscious, that woman was reclining on her bed before him, completely naked and pleasuring herself while calling his name!

If there was even a chance that he could have gotten control of his body before, it was gone now; he was fully erect and begging to have something done about it. His free hand moved unconsciously, no longer taking orders from his brain and he bit his tongue to keep his own moan inside his mouth.

Outside on the bed Stella shifted position, bending her knees and spreading her legs wider as her body arched away from the bed and she moaned uncontrollably, Mac's name still pouring from her lips which were swollen from being nipped by her teeth.

Her hips bucked harder as she turned the dial up, increasing the speed of the vibrations coursing through her. In the cupboard Mac's hand sped up, his eyes watering as he stared at her.

"Oh God Mac, baby!" she screamed as she came and Mac's teeth clamped down on everything they could reach, his tongue, the insides of his mouth, in order to stop himself crying out her name as he peaked while her orgasm continued to wash over her.

Stella lay panting and shivering on the bed, her eyes closed. Nearby in the cupboard Mac was desperately trying to keep his breathing under control so that she wouldn't hear him.

After a few minutes Stella got up. Crossing the room she found some tissues and wiped the vibrator clean, setting it down on the bedside table before going to the door and wrapping herself in the short Chinese silk robe that hung there.

She left the room again, allowing Mac to breathe more deeply for a few seconds until she returned. But to his horror she made right for the closet and opened the doors wide.

She smiled down at the man now cowering on the floor before her.

"Enjoy the show?" she asked a little breathlessly.

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**A/N: Okay, I know some people might have a problem with Mac drinking that heavily but trust me, my best friend used to date a guy in thenavyand she's met both British and US marines and if there's one thing they are good at it's getting ridiculously drunk and playing pranks on each other. I just figured that Mac's buddies might not have matured as much as he clearly has ;)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hope you enjoyed the first part. Here's the second bit. What is Stella up to I wonder? :D**

**WARNING: Macis about to have a very natural failing, he is over fifty after all, but he's still gorgeous and sexy and we love him so we forgive him ;) He is only human after all.**

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Mac stared at her, completely speechless. Had she known he was here the whole time? How? And why had she just put him through hell?

Unfortunately for him his mouth was a little behind his brain and he just sat there and gaped at her.

She hunkered down and reached out, placing a small metal key on the floor in front of him.

"Here," she said softly. "Go get yourself cleaned up in the bathroom. There's a spare robe through there that should do you. I'll go put some coffee on."

And with that she got up and left the room once more.

It took Mac several seconds to process what she had just said but eventually he seemed to get the message and picked up the key, releasing himself from the cuffs and rubbing his red and sore wrist.

He hauled himself to his feet, his muscles complaining at being kept in such a small space for so long. Making his way to the bathroom he cleaned up as best he could and pulling on the spare robe, which he was glad to see was of the long navy blue towelling variety rather than the style Stella had been sporting, he made his way to the living room.

Stella was sat on the couch, waiting for him, two mugs of steaming coffee on the table in front of her.

"Uh Stella," he murmured as he approached her. He felt incredibly nervous, all those thoughts about betrayed confidence suddenly flooding back into his mind. But she smiled as she looked up at him and patted the seat next to her.

"Hey," she said softly.

"Hey," he replied. "Look Stella I want to apologise for all of this. It should never have happened and I know that you're probably going to hate me for quite a long time and believe me, you're entitled to that, I just… I just wish there was a way I could make it up to you."

She was still smiling.

"Sit down and drink your coffee," she directed.

As he couldn't think of anything else to do he did just that.

"Now be quiet and listen to what I'm about to tell you," she continued.

"I got called out to a scene tonight; smash and grab, one fatality, the guy handed himself in two hours later, said he hadn't meant to kill the guy."

Mac only nodded, not really seeing what this had to do with anything.

"I was at the lab when the news came in so I packed everything up and got ready to go home. On my way out I hear someone calling my name and when I turn around I see these three guys in army fatigues running down the street hollering at me to stop. By the time they reached me they were out of breath and it was a while before I could get them to tell me what was going on."

Mac groaned quietly.

"What did they say?" he asked, almost dreading the answer.

"They said that they were friends of yours and that they'd taken you out for a few drinks as they hadn't seen you in a while. They said they felt like playing a joke on you so they asked you a bunch of questions about your life and your job."

"And about you," Mac muttered.

"Yeh. Apparently they decided it would be a great idea to strip you down and tie you up for me to find, seeing as we were having trouble finding time together, or so you told them."

Another groan.

"Anyway, they got you good and smashed and then put you in a cab and brought you here, used your key to get in and well… left you here. They took the key and your clothes with them. Fortunately for you they then had a fit of conscience, seeing as that key was given to you in trust and they didn't want to get you in trouble so they came looking for me, to confess."

"Did you get your key back?" he asked, more concerned about that than about his own clothes.

"Yes, I got your key back," she replied, the subtle difference not lost on Mac. "But I decided to have a little fun of my own just to teach you a lesson."

She smirked at him.

"And it seemed to work pretty well," she added.

Mac had now gone scarlet.

"I'm sorry," he said, his eyes on his coffee. "I don't know what else to say. I was going to just let you know I was there but I was afraid you'd be pissed at me and then suddenly you were naked and…," he trailed off, going even redder.

"Mac," she said gently, reaching out to touch his face, "you don't have to apologise. Under any other circumstances I admit I would probably be extremely mad about finding a naked man in my closet."

She smiled warmly.

"But for you I'll happily make an exception."

And with that she leaned in and kissed him softly.

Mac couldn't help but react, putting his coffee down on the table and pulling her closer, returning her kiss warmly.

When they broke apart he rested his forehead lightly against hers.

"I'm still sorry," he murmured.

"I'm not," she told him.

She pulled back slightly, her turn to flush now as she said, "I guess while we're confessing things there's something I should tell you. That wouldn't be the first night I've…" she waved a hand in the air and he nodded in understanding.

"It's just that, what with Sinclair breathing down our necks and the lab being so busy lately, sometimes I get a little… frustrated."

Her blush deepened.

"But knowing you were there watching me, enjoying it, it… well I, I've never been that excited before."

"How did you know I was watching?" asked Mac carefully. "I could have been unconscious."

She giggled slightly.

"I could hear you," she revealed, leaning in to kiss him once more.

This time Mac wrapped his arms more firmly around her, his lips trailing across her jaw to her ear.

"Want to try the real thing?" he whispered daringly in her ear and he felt her smile against his skin.

"You bet," she murmured before pulling away and wiggling her eyebrows at him. "Where did you leave those handcuffs?" she asked cheekily but Mac shook his head.

"Oh no," he said, "this time I get to touch you."

"Mm," she murmured, coming in for another kiss. "I'm looking forward to it."

She squealed like a little kid when Mac suddenly bundled her into his arms, standing from the couch and carrying her back to her bedroom, letting her bounce gently down onto the mattress.

"Wow," she said breathlessly, "you're a lot stronger than I thought."

Mac smirked slightly.

"It's not like there was much of you to carry," he told her teasingly and received a slap on the arm.

"Hey! Are you trying to say I'm too skinny?" she challenged, sitting up, hands on her slim hips.

"Are you trying to say I look scrawny?" he retorted, squaring up to her, his broad muscular shoulders clearly in evidence.

Stella was unable to contain her smile, crawling towards him to wind her arms around his neck.

"No," she said. "Sorry, didn't mean to say it like that."

"Apology accepted," he replied, kissing her soundly, leaning over her, laying her down on the bed so that he covered her.

They continued kissing, both grinning like idiots, but after a couple of minutes Stella began to grow impatient. Being pinned beneath Mac with very little clothing between them after what had happened earlier was making her all hot and bothered again but Mac was showing no signs of making a move.

"You know," she muttered between kisses, "I could have sworn there was a reason we came through here."

Looking down at her Mac blushed slightly.

"I'm afraid you're gonna have to give me a minute Stella," he whispered. "I'm not sixteen anymore."

Stella frowned slightly but realisation dawned quickly and she smirked at him.

"Oh. In that case I think I might be able to help you. Roll over."

"What?"

"Roll over Mac."

He did as he was told, rolling over on his back so that Stella was now on top of him. She smiled sweetly at him, pulling his robe open to reveal his chest and stomach. Slowly she began to trail her tongue down his body, stopping every now and then to kiss and nip the bare flesh beneath her lips.

Mac moaned softly, everything south of his waist beginning to wake up again after its well needed rest.

"Better?" Stella asked, her eyes barely visible beneath her curtain of curls as she peeped at him from the level of his naval.

"Definitely," he breathed, closing his eyes as he felt her go lower, her mouth now teasing him to full hardness.

"Oh God Stella," he panted. "You're gonna have to stop that if you want this to go any further."

She chuckled lightly at him.

"Just one more thing," she told him, reaching over to the top drawer of her bedside table.

Mac wondered what the hell she could be looking for this time and was relieved to see her pull back with a small silver packet in her hand.

"Finishing touch," she said teasingly, rolling the condom down over his length.

She crawled slowly back up his body, keeping low so that his tip dragged against her skin, coming to straddle him, the two of them sliding together with satisfied moans.

Stella began to rock gently, her hands on his chest, bracing herself, the Chinese robe half off her shoulders, head thrown back, enjoying herself. It was absolutely one of the sexiest things Mac had ever seen; way better than Danny's Playboy back-issue collection which was currently hiding from Mrs Messer in a box at the back of one of Mac's cupboards until Danny decided whether or not to sell them.

Meanwhile Stella was harbouring similar thoughts about Mac, although her comparison resided with the kind of moustachioed Mr Universe types you got in foreign porn on late night cable whom Mac Taylor outstripped infinitely in brains, intelligence and downright hotness; especially when only half dressed and writhing beneath her in ecstasy.

She leaned forward, kissing him, his hands gently rubbing her thighs as he moaned into her mouth.

But it didn't last much longer as with a sudden sharp buck of his hips Mac released, calling Stella's name aloud and swearing vilely at himself inside his head.

Well done, he thought sarcastically, that's gonna make her real happy.

"Shit Stella I'm sorry," he panted, coming down form his abrupt high. "I'm sorry I…"

But she pressed a finger to his lips.

"It's okay," she shushed.

"No it isn't," he muttered darkly.

She leaned forward again and kissed him softly.

"Mac," she whispered, "it's okay. Besides, I have an idea."

She slip off of him, rolling over onto her back and motioning him to follow her.

"Come here," she whispered seductively, taking his hand and laying it against her breast bone.

"Stella?" he said with a frown and she smirked at him.

"Well," she said, "you did say you wanted to touch me this time. So touch me."

Once again it took Mac a second or two to digest her meaning but then he smiled and leaned in to kiss her again, letting his hand wander slowly down her body until it slipped between her legs. Stroking her gently he felt her buck against his hand in need, moaning into his mouth and wrapping her arms around his neck. He stoked harder and felt one of her own hands sliding between them to cover his, pushing him deeper until she cried out and came, panting in his arms.

He let her catch her breath and cast a look at the damp sheets that surrounded them.

"I think you may have to do the laundry tomorrow," he commented drily.

Stella chuckled in reply, pulling him close and cuddling up against him.

"Yeh well I don't have a washing machine so you can give me the dollar ninety-five for the laundromat seeing as all the mess is your fault."

"My fault! I didn't ask those guys to cuff me inside your closet!"

She giggled.

"You're right," she said. "Maybe I should just have everything dry-cleaned and bill your friends for the cost."

It was Mac's turn to laugh.

"Sounds like a good idea to me. Although," paused and she looked up at him.

"Although what?"

He smiled, leaning down to kiss her forehead.

"Although I might have to send them a 'thank you' card along with the cheque," he said and she returned his little kiss with one of her own before cuddling into him once more.

"Shouldn't we tidy up a little?" he asked, aware that there were still half full coffee cups in the living room and all the lights were still on.

But Stella just shook her head, snuggling deeper against his chest.

"Nope," she murmured through a yawn.

Mac gave in, curling himself around her protectively. All things considered his evening could have been a lot worse.

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**Hope you all enjoyed it. Have pleasent dreams now ;)**


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